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Discovering What I lost

 I'm on a journey to discover who Kayana is outside of the roles I play in other people's lives as a mom, wife, and BCBA.  I'm on day 12 of refraining from smoking cigarettes. Still struggling but I wake up and put a nicotine patch on.  I've started to read for pleasure. Something I enjoyed a lot. It's been several years since I read a book and finished it. I have bought several books and have one that's up next.  I'm in individual therapy again. I'm excited and hopeful that it will be helpful on my journey. Mindfulness is something I've always thought would help, but have never given it a try.  Come along for the ride. 
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This is US...ALou & KayLou

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In June of 2019,  Ahryn asked me to marry him. We were in bed just talking one night and right there I got my proposal. It was a perfectly timed moment and completely what I had expected from him and wanted. There was no extraneous of being in a public  space and feeling tremendous amounts of pressure on both of us. It was in our home, the first place we made a home together! It wasn't fully furnished, the furniture didnt match and was mostly hand me downs! But it was ours.  After 13 years of back and forth or on again off again dating we had finally, the both of us, chosen one another at the same time. Finally, both of us were on the same page and in the same paragraph, reading the same sentence!  Naturally to confirm that he wanted to I pulled up the marriage preapplication and suggested we fill it out as a first step. I was overjoyed and the next day we celebrated my having a simple dinner date and talking about the huge step we took by completing an application f...
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